Others May...
Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me." Luke 9:23
I was the oldest of five and although my siblings left when I was 14, I remember all too well the heartaches that came along with being the oldest. I was expected to be perfect while they were not. It seemed as though they got away with lots of “incidents” that I would never get away with. I felt I was held to a higher standard. It just wasn’t fair. Numerous times my parents told me, "Tami, you are an example to your siblings, you’re the oldest, you’re a leader, you have to set a proper example!"
I will never forget the night this unwelcomed reality took root in my heart. After a long, tiring, drama filled Saturday of family yard work, I decided that I had had it with being the oldest. I was done. I decided that I no longer wanted that title. That I was going to resign. Quit. Give my notice. And not a two-week notice either. It was going to be an immediate departure.
I quietly sauntered over to my God-given-mom to give her the big news. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak the tears began to roll down my cheeks. Between the uncontrollable sobs, I finally got it out, “I don't want to be the oldest. I don’t like it. I don’t like being the leader. It’s too hard and I’m not going to do it anymore.” I could tell she so desperately wanted to tell me something to make me feel better, to accept my resignation, but she could not. Instead, with tender sympathy and heavenly wisdom she said to me, "Tami, I'm sorry, but God has made you the first born. He created you to be a leader. It's best if you don't fight it, just accept it and use this privilege He has given you to please Him." That was not what I wanted to hear. But that is exactly what I needed to hear. I learned that my so called “resignation” was really discontentment with what God had asked of me.
I wish I could say I have never looked back since that summer night, but I have. Many times I have asked the Lord why so-and-so is allowed to get away with so much, but not me. With all this said, it makes sense why Luke 9:23 is one of my life verses.
It is my deepest desire to follow Jesus, therefore, daily I know I must deny my selfish desires and follow Him. I need to be content with what He asks of me—even if I don’t think it is fair. I have learned to take every thought captive. I must make a choice to think differently or be miserable.
If this is or has been a reality in your life, I pray the words G.D. Watson penned on the subject will bring you insight and encouragement: “If God has called you to be truly like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility. He will put on you such demands of obedience that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians. In many ways, He seems to let other good people do things which He will not let you do...” Continue
I was the oldest of five and although my siblings left when I was 14, I remember all too well the heartaches that came along with being the oldest. I was expected to be perfect while they were not. It seemed as though they got away with lots of “incidents” that I would never get away with. I felt I was held to a higher standard. It just wasn’t fair. Numerous times my parents told me, "Tami, you are an example to your siblings, you’re the oldest, you’re a leader, you have to set a proper example!"
I will never forget the night this unwelcomed reality took root in my heart. After a long, tiring, drama filled Saturday of family yard work, I decided that I had had it with being the oldest. I was done. I decided that I no longer wanted that title. That I was going to resign. Quit. Give my notice. And not a two-week notice either. It was going to be an immediate departure.
I quietly sauntered over to my God-given-mom to give her the big news. As soon as I opened my mouth to speak the tears began to roll down my cheeks. Between the uncontrollable sobs, I finally got it out, “I don't want to be the oldest. I don’t like it. I don’t like being the leader. It’s too hard and I’m not going to do it anymore.” I could tell she so desperately wanted to tell me something to make me feel better, to accept my resignation, but she could not. Instead, with tender sympathy and heavenly wisdom she said to me, "Tami, I'm sorry, but God has made you the first born. He created you to be a leader. It's best if you don't fight it, just accept it and use this privilege He has given you to please Him." That was not what I wanted to hear. But that is exactly what I needed to hear. I learned that my so called “resignation” was really discontentment with what God had asked of me.
I wish I could say I have never looked back since that summer night, but I have. Many times I have asked the Lord why so-and-so is allowed to get away with so much, but not me. With all this said, it makes sense why Luke 9:23 is one of my life verses.
It is my deepest desire to follow Jesus, therefore, daily I know I must deny my selfish desires and follow Him. I need to be content with what He asks of me—even if I don’t think it is fair. I have learned to take every thought captive. I must make a choice to think differently or be miserable.
If this is or has been a reality in your life, I pray the words G.D. Watson penned on the subject will bring you insight and encouragement: “If God has called you to be truly like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility. He will put on you such demands of obedience that you will not be allowed to follow other Christians. In many ways, He seems to let other good people do things which He will not let you do...” Continue
by Tami Jasso
July 2015
July 2015